In search of oneself...

Identity... What is it exactly? What forms it? What modifies it? What makes it visible or obscure? What makes your search for it one of the most hyped about but still important part of your progress in life?
I've been told that my ethnicity, my community, my parentage... these are what ideally should govern my identity. But clearly that's not the case...
Friends and family? Well evidently then my identity's been changing every year. Nope!
Objects and possessions? Haven't had anything to stick on to forever. Nada!
Appearance.... I'd think yes. You only know as you see & experience. Hence, I've seen & known this.
Beliefs? Yes, provided you find someone who concurs with you or you're just the type to whom someone's approval does not matter.
Interests? Apparently yes. I like to read and write, those are my interests. When I read & write, I explore my thoughts & therefore question. So yes!
Values? One's morals & values do play a part in one's identity formation. Abiding by your conscience does not come easy & anything gained with difficulty is not easily parted with.
Choices? Absolutely yes.
The search of oneself is a never-ending journey and justifiably so. After all, if you found yourself and there was nothing left, is there any meaning left in your existence?

The girl child

You're born... You're judged for your looks, cooking skills, people skills, your surname, your weight in gold.....
You are somebody's daughter... You move on to become somebody's wife... Who are you?
You eat, u gotta wash ur own plate.... & the men's. You do something wrong, u will get a beating. Your brother won't. You have an affair, they'll thrash u for spoiling the family's reputation. If ur brother does it, hes just being manly & he'll come around. You're the one who no one will want to marry. But who are you?
You hop, skip & jump.. u'll get thrashed. If u break ur teeth, who will marry you? You want to find yourself? They'll laugh. Why would a girl want to find herself? Why would she want to be anything other than a daughter or a wife? She is not made to carry her own name. Even government forms want your maiden name & surname. But who are you?
Some day life will take u on a roller coaster ride & if you're lucky like me, u get a second chance & you think it's all over. Now I can finally find myself... I can walk the road, swim the water, fly the skies... I can earn & spend my own money. I can wear a skirt... I carry pepper spray to defend myself... I question without being asked to shut up... I am assertive. I'm individualistic... independent... & along comes a reminder of things that had been. Who are you?